After celebrating a few birthdays, Valentines, and Chinese New Years, my sister broke the news that my grandmother had passed away. I was completely devastated and heartbroken. In the week that followed, I had lost my appetite, I couldn’t sleep – yet all I wanted to do was stay in bed all day, I would weep after Aric and the kiddies went to bed, and spent a lot of time contemplating life and mortality. The hardest thing for me to accept was that I didn’t get to see my grandmother. My parents and Wil had gone to Taiwan a month ago to visit her. Aric and I were waiting until Ashlyn’s spring-break to go visit. *sniff* A little too late now.
(last picture taken with grandma – November 2005)
Though my grandmother and I lived oceans apart, we were close. We shared a relationship that transcended our age and generation gap and cultural differences. She was an extraordinary person….full of life, spirit, and unconditional love. She lived simply, with discipline, patience, and an enthusiasm to learn new things (taking tai-chi, Chinese brush painting and sign-language classes at 80+ years of age). The smile lines on my cheeks, a love for sewing, and our identical hands are the things she passed down to me (although her hands are infinitely softer). *sigh* I miss her so much.
(on the phone)
Mom: “It’s noon…get out of bed! You have to get up, make yourself pretty, spend time with your husband and kids! Go eat, take care of yourself, exercise!
Dad: “You cannot be sad all the time. It’s not fair to your babies. You have to continue to live and be happy.”
After a much needed verbal kick in the butt by my parents, I’m doing better now.
…but I still have my moments.
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